Vorbometer Predictions For IML Round 1 Playoffs
Filed under: Premier League
After all the fun and games of the make-up round, and Prospect finally matching up with CRV and SFE, the IML playoffs start this Sunday. Prospect lost both of those games so that means CRV and SFE get the top two seeds and a bye into the semi finals. This Sunday the #3 to #6 teams face-off against each of in a best of three series to try and join them.
So here's how the Vorbometer sees the first round the playoffs in IML and this week is brought to you by the worst resume ever.
#5 Fly-NDeath vs #4 IMLlamasery
(reg season: 6-2 llamas)
I'm tempted just to take what I wrote about Pro llamas in my predictions yesterday, copy & paste it here then search and replace 'Pro' with 'IML'. On the looks of things there's no real difference between the two llama squads. Both of them seem ready made for the playoffs as that's the style they've always used: tight, passive, lobbing, carving out a winning score and then defending it. The last three games llamas won all went to OT and only once during their whole season did a game go to 12 kills (12-4 over LI). Everything tightens up in the playoffs. More so in single elim than best of three, but even then everything slows down and pilots will not look to force anything as they don't want to make a mistake and get eliminated. Llamas play like this all the time.
There are two notable differences between the Pro and IML llamas in my view though, one positive and one negative. The negative is the lack of depth the IML llamas have. Unless they get a good showing they may have to rely on players like tenken^, Wado Kai and a seriously out of shape plumpy for long periods in matches. It's not very often llamas give you an obvious target to focus on, but with this roster you can get some good match-ups in the #3 and #4 slots.
The positive though is their top players. Llamas are not supposed to have stars. They're suppose to be the ultimate in 4v4 teamwork and play games while resting heavy objects on the backarrow key. But with bushes and Exactman llamas can actually appear aggressive at times. I know, an aggressive llama, who'd a thunk it? If they get into any kind of trouble on Sunday they know that bushes can engage the forwardarrow key and make something happen.
On the other side with have Fly-NDeath, who are the lukewarm water of the IML playoff squads this season. Everyone has been focused on the fight at the top between Prospect, CRV and SFE for the top two seeds and a first round bye and the fight at the bottom between NW, ReDS and FC for the final playoff spot. Meanwhile FnD has just sat in the middle, ignored by everyone. I hope they know they have a game on Sunday.
Thinking back I don't think I've actually think I've seen FnD play this season. Is everyone sure they even exist? I know they were in AML last season, but I haven't seen them play since. This is starting to make sense. There is no such squad as Fly-NDeath.
Vorbometer: IMLlamasery in two games.
Key players: bushes, Exactman (llama)
Watch out for: Fly-NDeath. Watch out as much as you like, you're not going to see them.
#3 Prospect vs #4 Nightwatch
$$$ Game of the Week $$$
(reg season: 12-6 Pros)
The main event of the evening and quite possibly the highlight of the entire Premier League season as DeathKnight's playoff adventure begins. And ends. There's a few things going in his favour this season though, or at least for this round.
First of all Prospect are playing Nightwatch. Even if DK does collapse Prospect have more than enough ammunition to handle NW. Second is the fact that this round is best of three and not single elim. All of DK's best meltdowns have taken place in one-off games. Finally there's a pretty good chance that DK will get through this round unscathed and save up all his chokage for the semis. However it plays out here's few things to watch out for:
1. The DK Thor
Nothing more needs to be said. This move is famous throughout the civilised world and can pop up at any moment. The classic DK Thor though is just after a death when he fires it as soon as he respawns at nothing in particular.
2. The Warbird
The 'OMG I just died and I need to sc to a ship I haven't used all season in the squad's most important game' move. Also a classic ZDX move, but with him it's usually warbird, to weasel, to spider. With DK it usually happens on his last life when his brain has completely stopped functioning - a bit like when he's having sex with his wife.
3. KILL! KILL! KILL!
The choke is well set in now and the only way DK can crawl up out of this pit of suckitude is to get a kill and get it fast. Even if it means he has to use all his rockets one after the other, even if it means he has to use all his reps one after the other, even if it means he has to gun-duel all four of the other team at once, even if it means he has to go 0-3 inside five minutes in the attempt, even if it means .... oh =(
4. "What do you expect, look at the rest of Prospect"
Now we're getting into comedy gold territory. By now DK has choked out and he's up in the spec freq explaining to the rest of us exactly what we just saw with our own two eyes. You see, I didn't choke at all. I played the perfect game. It was my team-mates who let me down and my captain hasn't got a clue. We would of won IML if I wasn't surrounded by retards. In fact, I never wanted to play for Prospect at all. That's why I threw the game today. Btw, anyone starting a new squad next season and is looking for a weasel? I have great regular season stats.
5. "IT IS YOU WHO ARE THE BALL LICKERS!"
If there's anything better than DK going to spec after choking out to trash his team-mates who let him down, then it's DK going to spec after choking to absolutely unload on anyone and everything - specially the opposition. The best example of this I can remember was when Victimise knocked out Blitzed. DK went ballistic during the game, tried to give away all our aliases, but got them wrong and talked an endless amount of shit to the spec freq. To make it even better once the game was over he totally changed his tune and tried to pretend he didn't care. I wish I still had that spec log, but it's long gone. There is this from ScoreMaster, but that's just the tip of the DK imploding iceberg.
Now I'm not saying all this is going to happen on Sunday, but DK wouldn't be DK if he could get through a playoff game without a little of that going on. Keep your eyes peeled.
Vorbometer: Prospect in three games.
Key players: Inno (Pros), Covert Agent (NW)
Watch out for: The Five Levels of DK Playoff Choking Hell.
After all the fun and games of the make-up round, and Prospect finally matching up with CRV and SFE, the IML playoffs start this Sunday. Prospect lost both of those games so that means CRV and SFE get the top two seeds and a bye into the semi finals. This Sunday the #3 to #6 teams face-off against each of in a best of three series to try and join them.
So here's how the Vorbometer sees the first round the playoffs in IML and this week is brought to you by the worst resume ever.
(reg season: 6-2 llamas)
I'm tempted just to take what I wrote about Pro llamas in my predictions yesterday, copy & paste it here then search and replace 'Pro' with 'IML'. On the looks of things there's no real difference between the two llama squads. Both of them seem ready made for the playoffs as that's the style they've always used: tight, passive, lobbing, carving out a winning score and then defending it. The last three games llamas won all went to OT and only once during their whole season did a game go to 12 kills (12-4 over LI). Everything tightens up in the playoffs. More so in single elim than best of three, but even then everything slows down and pilots will not look to force anything as they don't want to make a mistake and get eliminated. Llamas play like this all the time.
There are two notable differences between the Pro and IML llamas in my view though, one positive and one negative. The negative is the lack of depth the IML llamas have. Unless they get a good showing they may have to rely on players like tenken^, Wado Kai and a seriously out of shape plumpy for long periods in matches. It's not very often llamas give you an obvious target to focus on, but with this roster you can get some good match-ups in the #3 and #4 slots.
The positive though is their top players. Llamas are not supposed to have stars. They're suppose to be the ultimate in 4v4 teamwork and play games while resting heavy objects on the backarrow key. But with bushes and Exactman llamas can actually appear aggressive at times. I know, an aggressive llama, who'd a thunk it? If they get into any kind of trouble on Sunday they know that bushes can engage the forwardarrow key and make something happen.
On the other side with have Fly-NDeath, who are the lukewarm water of the IML playoff squads this season. Everyone has been focused on the fight at the top between Prospect, CRV and SFE for the top two seeds and a first round bye and the fight at the bottom between NW, ReDS and FC for the final playoff spot. Meanwhile FnD has just sat in the middle, ignored by everyone. I hope they know they have a game on Sunday.
Thinking back I don't think I've actually think I've seen FnD play this season. Is everyone sure they even exist? I know they were in AML last season, but I haven't seen them play since. This is starting to make sense. There is no such squad as Fly-NDeath.
Vorbometer: IMLlamasery in two games.
Key players: bushes, Exactman (llama)
Watch out for: Fly-NDeath. Watch out as much as you like, you're not going to see them.
$$$ Game of the Week $$$
(reg season: 12-6 Pros)
The main event of the evening and quite possibly the highlight of the entire Premier League season as DeathKnight's playoff adventure begins. And ends. There's a few things going in his favour this season though, or at least for this round.
First of all Prospect are playing Nightwatch. Even if DK does collapse Prospect have more than enough ammunition to handle NW. Second is the fact that this round is best of three and not single elim. All of DK's best meltdowns have taken place in one-off games. Finally there's a pretty good chance that DK will get through this round unscathed and save up all his chokage for the semis. However it plays out here's few things to watch out for:
1. The DK Thor
Nothing more needs to be said. This move is famous throughout the civilised world and can pop up at any moment. The classic DK Thor though is just after a death when he fires it as soon as he respawns at nothing in particular.
2. The Warbird
The 'OMG I just died and I need to sc to a ship I haven't used all season in the squad's most important game' move. Also a classic ZDX move, but with him it's usually warbird, to weasel, to spider. With DK it usually happens on his last life when his brain has completely stopped functioning - a bit like when he's having sex with his wife.
3. KILL! KILL! KILL!
The choke is well set in now and the only way DK can crawl up out of this pit of suckitude is to get a kill and get it fast. Even if it means he has to use all his rockets one after the other, even if it means he has to use all his reps one after the other, even if it means he has to gun-duel all four of the other team at once, even if it means he has to go 0-3 inside five minutes in the attempt, even if it means .... oh =(
4. "What do you expect, look at the rest of Prospect"
Now we're getting into comedy gold territory. By now DK has choked out and he's up in the spec freq explaining to the rest of us exactly what we just saw with our own two eyes. You see, I didn't choke at all. I played the perfect game. It was my team-mates who let me down and my captain hasn't got a clue. We would of won IML if I wasn't surrounded by retards. In fact, I never wanted to play for Prospect at all. That's why I threw the game today. Btw, anyone starting a new squad next season and is looking for a weasel? I have great regular season stats.
5. "IT IS YOU WHO ARE THE BALL LICKERS!"
If there's anything better than DK going to spec after choking out to trash his team-mates who let him down, then it's DK going to spec after choking to absolutely unload on anyone and everything - specially the opposition. The best example of this I can remember was when Victimise knocked out Blitzed. DK went ballistic during the game, tried to give away all our aliases, but got them wrong and talked an endless amount of shit to the spec freq. To make it even better once the game was over he totally changed his tune and tried to pretend he didn't care. I wish I still had that spec log, but it's long gone. There is this from ScoreMaster, but that's just the tip of the DK imploding iceberg.
Now I'm not saying all this is going to happen on Sunday, but DK wouldn't be DK if he could get through a playoff game without a little of that going on. Keep your eyes peeled.
Vorbometer: Prospect in three games.
Key players: Inno (Pros), Covert Agent (NW)
Watch out for: The Five Levels of DK Playoff Choking Hell.
