Vorbometer Predictions For Pro League Round 1 Playoffs
Filed under: Premier League
There's two ways you can look at this season of Pro League. The first is that it's been a colossal waste of time, we had to sit through the whole regular season just so Assassins and Unhallowed could face each other in the final round to decide the top seed and the playoffs will be just as boring as it's obvious that it's going to be an Unh/Ass finals so why not just play the ProBowl now?
I like to go with the second option. Yes Ass and Unh dominated the regular season, but we still got to see Cloud implode as Sterling's captain and watch ZDX rocket around the map like an out of control North Korean nuclear missile. When it comes to the playoffs expect some fireworks too. It's rare that they unfold as the seedings would suggest, it always seems that one of the lower ranked teams makes a run. There's less chance of an upset with all the matches being a three game series, but don't expect them to be a procession for Assassins and Unhallowed.
So here's the return of the Vorbometer for round 1 of the Pro League playoffs, which this week are brought to you by Vin Diesel, the early years. SCRAMBLE FOOT TO FOOT.
#2 Assassins vs #7 Starseed
(reg season: 8-4 Ass)
We all know how good Assassins are - defending two-time champions, won four out of the last five titles and are captained by Mop who has appeared in ten of the last eleven ProBowls with Ass, Intrepid and Final, winning nine. So what are Starseed's chances? Their regular season game was close. It was tied after 30 minutes and Ass didn't take over until Reaem was knocked out to make it 4v3 and even then SS played strong and didn't get targeted out.
Starseed have one thing going for them, their dueling skills. That won't help them offensively: most out-and-out duelers tend to hit the line on their own, get isolated and targeted out (See: Marley, Bob.). It well help them defensively though. People like Reaem and Bobby Dentist don't get flustered when they're under fire. They do have two fairly big things going against them however. First of all for Starseed to have any chance of winning they have to show their best four and play the perfect game for three full matches, while all Ass have to do is start any four from their roster and expect to dominate.
The other thing going against them is the result of the Ass/Unh game. Mop is going to be pissed and he's not going to want to mess around here. He'll be looking to mop up (geddit?) SS and move on to an expected rematch with Unhallowed. If there's one thing worse than facing Assassins in the opening round of the Pro playoffs it's facing a motivated Assassins in the opening round of the Pro playoffs.
Vorbometer: Assassins in two games.
Key players: Mop (Ass), Bobby D (SS)
Watch out for: Sneakerz banning Dingo for having frosted hair.
#3 Llamasery vs #4 The Dark
$$$ Game of the Week $$$
(reg season: 4-3 llamas)
If there was ever a team built for the Pro playoffs it the alpha llama tribe. In fact they've been playing Pro playoff style since their AML days. Now they get to put all that practice into effect. Look at their regular season record. They played five overtime games and won them all. This is not a squad who are going to be intimidated by making their Pro playoff debut this Sunday.
It's been a disappointing end to a promising season for The Dark. They won seven of their first eight games and looked like being on the same level as Assassins and Unhallowed. But they've lost their last three games by a combined score of 14-36 and have stumbled into the playoffs. Llamas are not the kind of team you can play yourselves out of a losing streak. They will just not give you anything obvious to focus on, or thow a couple of easy kills your way to build your confidence up with. I can't see The Dark's losing streaking ending on Sunday. It's going to be tight and inevitably it will be decided in overtime, but in the end the llamas will march on fairly comfortably.
Vorbometer: Llamasery in two games.
Key players: Mortok (llamas), Miner (TD)
Watch out for: Sneakerz banning Odin for not being mathematically consistent to all Pro pilots in his rankings.
#5 Poke Her vs #6 BIA
(reg season: 9-6 PH)
As I said at the beginning of these predictions there's always one team that comes out of nowhere in the playoffs and this season it's going to be BIA. Brothers in Arms had a terrible start to the season. Their roster looked weak and they went 0-3 in the pre-season then dropped their first two regular season games. Picking up 9-Volt saved their season, he's been their best player by far while getting Dantos and Anamalech on their roster has given them some depth. Their make-up round win over The Dark last Sunday shows that they are a team in form and are a team no-one will want to play.
Poke Her are a hard team to read. They've been inconsistent through most of the regular season, although it seems that they usually win when BrokeStatus shows and lose when he doesn't. They have won their last three games, but since those games were against Creation, Exultant and Fuel don't read too much into it. I wouldn't call PH a one man team, but they come pretty damn close. If Designator and Slimster can give Three some support and CL can get his weasel into gear then they can match BIA's starters, but I just think BIA are coming into this series with much more confidence and will come out winners after a struggle. I can see this series playing out like BIA's whole season: PH take game 1, but BIA slowly improve through the matches to take games 2 and 3.
Vorbometer: BIA in three games.
Key players: BrokeStatus (PH), Anamalech (BIA)
Watch out for: Sneakerz banning BrokeStatus for starting all three games in a weasel when he said he'd play the whole season in a terrier.
#1 Unhallowed vs #8 Creation
(reg season: 12-3 Unh)
Creation are the anti-llamas. If there was ever a team who are built to suck in the playoffs then this is it. You could take the time to explain to ZDX about how important patience is in a playoff match, how it's the specials-count that will dictate the flow of the game not kills and how the result will be decided in the final five minutes not the first five minutes. Unfortunately by the time you've gotten all that typed out ZDX has already died twice and used all nine of his rockets.
The result is never going to be in doubt here, but game 1 will be worth watching for ZDX alone and his usual rocket first ask questions later playing style. At least Charlie Brown occasionally questioned himself when he tried to kick the football and ended up flat on his back again, ZDX never changes style no matter how many times it fails. Not that that's a bad thing, what other reason is there to watch a Creation game?
Game 2 won't be as fun to watch though, because as soon as ZDX goes 0-3 he's going to quit. Enjoy it while it lasts. At least Savage comes out of the season with a $50 profit after winning the first WDT. what other Pro league captain can say that?
Vorbometer: Unhallowed in two games.
Key players: Nova (Unh), Nel(Crea)
Watch out for: Sneakerz banning the whole zone because .... well because he's a power-hungry cockgobbler. What other excuse does he need?
There's two ways you can look at this season of Pro League. The first is that it's been a colossal waste of time, we had to sit through the whole regular season just so Assassins and Unhallowed could face each other in the final round to decide the top seed and the playoffs will be just as boring as it's obvious that it's going to be an Unh/Ass finals so why not just play the ProBowl now?
I like to go with the second option. Yes Ass and Unh dominated the regular season, but we still got to see Cloud implode as Sterling's captain and watch ZDX rocket around the map like an out of control North Korean nuclear missile. When it comes to the playoffs expect some fireworks too. It's rare that they unfold as the seedings would suggest, it always seems that one of the lower ranked teams makes a run. There's less chance of an upset with all the matches being a three game series, but don't expect them to be a procession for Assassins and Unhallowed.
So here's the return of the Vorbometer for round 1 of the Pro League playoffs, which this week are brought to you by Vin Diesel, the early years. SCRAMBLE FOOT TO FOOT.
(reg season: 8-4 Ass)
We all know how good Assassins are - defending two-time champions, won four out of the last five titles and are captained by Mop who has appeared in ten of the last eleven ProBowls with Ass, Intrepid and Final, winning nine. So what are Starseed's chances? Their regular season game was close. It was tied after 30 minutes and Ass didn't take over until Reaem was knocked out to make it 4v3 and even then SS played strong and didn't get targeted out.
Starseed have one thing going for them, their dueling skills. That won't help them offensively: most out-and-out duelers tend to hit the line on their own, get isolated and targeted out (See: Marley, Bob.). It well help them defensively though. People like Reaem and Bobby Dentist don't get flustered when they're under fire. They do have two fairly big things going against them however. First of all for Starseed to have any chance of winning they have to show their best four and play the perfect game for three full matches, while all Ass have to do is start any four from their roster and expect to dominate.
The other thing going against them is the result of the Ass/Unh game. Mop is going to be pissed and he's not going to want to mess around here. He'll be looking to mop up (geddit?) SS and move on to an expected rematch with Unhallowed. If there's one thing worse than facing Assassins in the opening round of the Pro playoffs it's facing a motivated Assassins in the opening round of the Pro playoffs.
Vorbometer: Assassins in two games.
Key players: Mop (Ass), Bobby D (SS)
Watch out for: Sneakerz banning Dingo for having frosted hair.
$$$ Game of the Week $$$
(reg season: 4-3 llamas)
If there was ever a team built for the Pro playoffs it the alpha llama tribe. In fact they've been playing Pro playoff style since their AML days. Now they get to put all that practice into effect. Look at their regular season record. They played five overtime games and won them all. This is not a squad who are going to be intimidated by making their Pro playoff debut this Sunday.
It's been a disappointing end to a promising season for The Dark. They won seven of their first eight games and looked like being on the same level as Assassins and Unhallowed. But they've lost their last three games by a combined score of 14-36 and have stumbled into the playoffs. Llamas are not the kind of team you can play yourselves out of a losing streak. They will just not give you anything obvious to focus on, or thow a couple of easy kills your way to build your confidence up with. I can't see The Dark's losing streaking ending on Sunday. It's going to be tight and inevitably it will be decided in overtime, but in the end the llamas will march on fairly comfortably.
Vorbometer: Llamasery in two games.
Key players: Mortok (llamas), Miner (TD)
Watch out for: Sneakerz banning Odin for not being mathematically consistent to all Pro pilots in his rankings.
(reg season: 9-6 PH)
As I said at the beginning of these predictions there's always one team that comes out of nowhere in the playoffs and this season it's going to be BIA. Brothers in Arms had a terrible start to the season. Their roster looked weak and they went 0-3 in the pre-season then dropped their first two regular season games. Picking up 9-Volt saved their season, he's been their best player by far while getting Dantos and Anamalech on their roster has given them some depth. Their make-up round win over The Dark last Sunday shows that they are a team in form and are a team no-one will want to play.
Poke Her are a hard team to read. They've been inconsistent through most of the regular season, although it seems that they usually win when BrokeStatus shows and lose when he doesn't. They have won their last three games, but since those games were against Creation, Exultant and Fuel don't read too much into it. I wouldn't call PH a one man team, but they come pretty damn close. If Designator and Slimster can give Three some support and CL can get his weasel into gear then they can match BIA's starters, but I just think BIA are coming into this series with much more confidence and will come out winners after a struggle. I can see this series playing out like BIA's whole season: PH take game 1, but BIA slowly improve through the matches to take games 2 and 3.
Vorbometer: BIA in three games.
Key players: BrokeStatus (PH), Anamalech (BIA)
Watch out for: Sneakerz banning BrokeStatus for starting all three games in a weasel when he said he'd play the whole season in a terrier.
(reg season: 12-3 Unh)
Creation are the anti-llamas. If there was ever a team who are built to suck in the playoffs then this is it. You could take the time to explain to ZDX about how important patience is in a playoff match, how it's the specials-count that will dictate the flow of the game not kills and how the result will be decided in the final five minutes not the first five minutes. Unfortunately by the time you've gotten all that typed out ZDX has already died twice and used all nine of his rockets.
The result is never going to be in doubt here, but game 1 will be worth watching for ZDX alone and his usual rocket first ask questions later playing style. At least Charlie Brown occasionally questioned himself when he tried to kick the football and ended up flat on his back again, ZDX never changes style no matter how many times it fails. Not that that's a bad thing, what other reason is there to watch a Creation game?
Game 2 won't be as fun to watch though, because as soon as ZDX goes 0-3 he's going to quit. Enjoy it while it lasts. At least Savage comes out of the season with a $50 profit after winning the first WDT. what other Pro league captain can say that?
Vorbometer: Unhallowed in two games.
Key players: Nova (Unh), Nel(Crea)
Watch out for: Sneakerz banning the whole zone because .... well because he's a power-hungry cockgobbler. What other excuse does he need?
Great preds Vorb, enjoyed the read.
Savage
Posted by
Anonymous |
October 10, 2006 9:15 PM
ya who cares about some stupid text typed onto the map when you come out the only one with +$50 Savage wins! lol
Maeniel
Posted by
Anonymous |
October 12, 2006 5:35 PM