Vorbometer Predictions For IML Round 6
Filed under: Premier League
The Vorbometer is almost firing on all cylinders again. For round 5 it went 4-1, the third straight set of predictions I've gone and-one, still waiting for that perfect round. The game I called incorrectly was FutureCrew over Llamasery 6-4. I did say that with their new recruits FC could be the squad to beat in the second half of the season, but I didn't expect them to gel so quickly. In the other games Prospect and SFE took care of their opponents (Striker and ReDS) easily, the LI revival lasted exactly one week as they went back to only showing three again in losing 12-0 to FnD and Nightwatch almost had another OT upset of a big squad before going down 5-3 to CRV.
I hate to say it, but the MVP of the round was DeathKnight. He went 6-1 with 2 KO's and 1 forced rep in Prospect's win over Striker. The LVP of the round has to go to NW cheerleader-in-chief Kejami. In a vorbis-like performance he managed to play the whole 49 minutes of the game without making a kill or dying before getting taken out in OT. He did manage to force two reps though, which is two more than I usually get.
So here's how the Vorbometer foresees round 6 of IML, which this week is brought to you by Metallica lullabies:
Fly-NDeath (2-2) vs Nightwatch (2-3)
$$$ Game of the week $$$
What the hell is wrong with Nightwatch? Don't they read my predictions? I keep telling them they're a stale squad of over the hill vets who should of moved on to Pro season's ago and faced a fresh challenge instead of treading intermediate waters. Yet they still try and compete and almost beat top of the standings CRV last Sunday. You guys need to take more notice of what I say.
This is a hard game to call as it really comes down to who shows. Both these teams don't have much in the way of depth to compete with the top four, but they do have some very solid starters that can get the job done. If both teams show their best then it's going to be a very tight game which will probably end up in overtime. If either squad has to look to their bench to fill their #3 or #4 slot then it could be over very quickly. The game is that balanced.
I'm going to go with FnD in this one as the game has been scheduled for 3pm EST. NW have traditionally been a late night squad and that early time could hurt their showing more.
Vorbometer: 9-8 Fly-NDeath
Key players: Noobie (FnD), Tarnished Silver (NW)
Watch out for: another Kejami choke in overtime.
FutureCrew (1-3) vs Liquid Inc. (0-5)
Since no-one cares about this game and the only question is will LI show two or three this round lets talk about Prospect for a bit. what are they up to? Why all the postpones? What kind of strategy are they following? Will it work? Do Prospect have more colours of P banners than Victimise had colours of V banners? Who was that masked man?
In a Vorbometer exclusive I can reveal exactly what's going on. I've worked out what Sumi is up to. He's trying to kill DeathKnight.
If you remember at the start of the season I said that no squad could win a Premier League title with DeathKnight on the roster. He always chokes it up in the playoffs and takes his team down with him to fat wife hell. I still stand by that. Happily Sumi also knows this and has come up with a cunning plan. With all these big games in the make-up round for Prospect to play back-to-back I don't think DK can take it. All that choke potential, all those random thors flying all over the fucking shop. I don't think his brain is going to be able to handle it and somewhere around the five to ten minute mark in the SFE game his head is going to explode.
Premier League will be postponed for a week so we can all mourn the passing of the idiot and then Prospect can go into the playoffs without DK holding them back. Brilliant. You know ... maybe I should stop writing this predicts while Law & Order Criminal Intent is on the TV in the background.
Vorbometer: 12-0 FutureCrew
Key players: whichever two show up for LI
Watch out for: DK brain splatter. I recommend some kind of hat
ReDS (1-3) vs Striker (2-3)
It's a Bad reunion, except the ex-Bad on ReDS are playing good, while the ex-Bad on Striker are playing ... er ... bad. I didn't see the games last Sunday, but going on the score and the log it looks like Striker still haven't got any kind of teamwork going for them and against a squad with the depth and practice ethic of ReDS it's not going to change here.
After a 12-2 loss to Prospect last weekend, expect another lopsided score. And no, I don't know how Striker have a better record than ReDS at this point in the season. It's just one of those questions that will never be answered. Like how come Don Cherry has managed to go through half the season without going totally apeshit and ?squadleaving during a match then going to spec to tell everyone how crap his squad is?
Vorbometer: 12-2 ReDS
Key players: Bronx (ReDS), bho (Stkr)
Watch out for: The PB Pyramid League. All the cool kids are going to sign up.
StarFire Elite (4-0) vs Secret (2-2)
rape /reyp/
–noun
1.the unlawful compelling of a woman through physical force or duress to have sexual intercourse.
2.any act of sexual intercourse that is forced upon a person.
3.statutory rape.
4.an act of plunder, violent seizure, or abuse; despoliation; violation: the rape of the countryside.
5.Archaic. the act of seizing and carrying off by force.
–verb (used with object)
6.to force to have sexual intercourse.
7.to plunder (a place); despoil.
8.to seize, take, or carry off by force.
–verb (used without object)
9.to commit rape.
Vorbometer: 12-1 StarFire Elite
Key players: Garcon, Hedcase8 (SFE)
Watch out for: acts of plunder
The Vorbometer is almost firing on all cylinders again. For round 5 it went 4-1, the third straight set of predictions I've gone and-one, still waiting for that perfect round. The game I called incorrectly was FutureCrew over Llamasery 6-4. I did say that with their new recruits FC could be the squad to beat in the second half of the season, but I didn't expect them to gel so quickly. In the other games Prospect and SFE took care of their opponents (Striker and ReDS) easily, the LI revival lasted exactly one week as they went back to only showing three again in losing 12-0 to FnD and Nightwatch almost had another OT upset of a big squad before going down 5-3 to CRV.
I hate to say it, but the MVP of the round was DeathKnight. He went 6-1 with 2 KO's and 1 forced rep in Prospect's win over Striker. The LVP of the round has to go to NW cheerleader-in-chief Kejami. In a vorbis-like performance he managed to play the whole 49 minutes of the game without making a kill or dying before getting taken out in OT. He did manage to force two reps though, which is two more than I usually get.
So here's how the Vorbometer foresees round 6 of IML, which this week is brought to you by Metallica lullabies:
$$$ Game of the week $$$
What the hell is wrong with Nightwatch? Don't they read my predictions? I keep telling them they're a stale squad of over the hill vets who should of moved on to Pro season's ago and faced a fresh challenge instead of treading intermediate waters. Yet they still try and compete and almost beat top of the standings CRV last Sunday. You guys need to take more notice of what I say.
This is a hard game to call as it really comes down to who shows. Both these teams don't have much in the way of depth to compete with the top four, but they do have some very solid starters that can get the job done. If both teams show their best then it's going to be a very tight game which will probably end up in overtime. If either squad has to look to their bench to fill their #3 or #4 slot then it could be over very quickly. The game is that balanced.
I'm going to go with FnD in this one as the game has been scheduled for 3pm EST. NW have traditionally been a late night squad and that early time could hurt their showing more.
Vorbometer: 9-8 Fly-NDeath
Key players: Noobie (FnD), Tarnished Silver (NW)
Watch out for: another Kejami choke in overtime.
Since no-one cares about this game and the only question is will LI show two or three this round lets talk about Prospect for a bit. what are they up to? Why all the postpones? What kind of strategy are they following? Will it work? Do Prospect have more colours of P banners than Victimise had colours of V banners? Who was that masked man?
In a Vorbometer exclusive I can reveal exactly what's going on. I've worked out what Sumi is up to. He's trying to kill DeathKnight.
If you remember at the start of the season I said that no squad could win a Premier League title with DeathKnight on the roster. He always chokes it up in the playoffs and takes his team down with him to fat wife hell. I still stand by that. Happily Sumi also knows this and has come up with a cunning plan. With all these big games in the make-up round for Prospect to play back-to-back I don't think DK can take it. All that choke potential, all those random thors flying all over the fucking shop. I don't think his brain is going to be able to handle it and somewhere around the five to ten minute mark in the SFE game his head is going to explode.
Premier League will be postponed for a week so we can all mourn the passing of the idiot and then Prospect can go into the playoffs without DK holding them back. Brilliant. You know ... maybe I should stop writing this predicts while Law & Order Criminal Intent is on the TV in the background.
Vorbometer: 12-0 FutureCrew
Key players: whichever two show up for LI
Watch out for: DK brain splatter. I recommend some kind of hat
It's a Bad reunion, except the ex-Bad on ReDS are playing good, while the ex-Bad on Striker are playing ... er ... bad. I didn't see the games last Sunday, but going on the score and the log it looks like Striker still haven't got any kind of teamwork going for them and against a squad with the depth and practice ethic of ReDS it's not going to change here.
After a 12-2 loss to Prospect last weekend, expect another lopsided score. And no, I don't know how Striker have a better record than ReDS at this point in the season. It's just one of those questions that will never be answered. Like how come Don Cherry has managed to go through half the season without going totally apeshit and ?squadleaving during a match then going to spec to tell everyone how crap his squad is?
Vorbometer: 12-2 ReDS
Key players: Bronx (ReDS), bho (Stkr)
Watch out for: The PB Pyramid League. All the cool kids are going to sign up.
rape /reyp/
–noun
1.the unlawful compelling of a woman through physical force or duress to have sexual intercourse.
2.any act of sexual intercourse that is forced upon a person.
3.statutory rape.
4.an act of plunder, violent seizure, or abuse; despoliation; violation: the rape of the countryside.
5.Archaic. the act of seizing and carrying off by force.
–verb (used with object)
6.to force to have sexual intercourse.
7.to plunder (a place); despoil.
8.to seize, take, or carry off by force.
–verb (used without object)
9.to commit rape.
Vorbometer: 12-1 StarFire Elite
Key players: Garcon, Hedcase8 (SFE)
Watch out for: acts of plunder
